It might be like a good dream
where you want to stay all the time and where you want to be left alone and not
be disturbed. But soon you realize, like a rainy cloud, it has touched past you
leaving memories to cherish for life than staying with you. It was just the
same for him, it was there and it was all gone.
For it was a time, when he
thought moon followed the bus in which he travelled and felt bad when it hid
behind the veils of the cloud. For it was the time, he bought new erasers just
to smell the scent of it. For it was a time, he loved festivals as he was
allowed to be at school ununiformed the next day. For it was the time, when
tears used to drop down when he saw Manick
Baasha getting beaten up by villains. For it was the time, when the world
looked gentle and kind in his eyes, for it was the time, when he was in his
fifth grade.
Tucked in shirt, combed hair, polished
shoes, talcum powdered face and holy ash in his forehead, this is how he used
to enter the school. The moment his dad
takes off his bike after leaving him, his shirt collars were up, sleeves of his
half shirt gets rolled up, combed hair gets its treatment and obviously the vibuthi in his forehead loses its place.
Surrounded by friends who thought they are the dons of the street, he walked
around the corridors, ground and auditorium. He felt unstoppable and indomitable.
For all his underplay in home, he took the revenge in school. His mischief
during his fifth grade went to an extent when he told his fellow classmates
that to be part of his “gang”, they have to enter the ‘girl’s toilet’ and touch
the distant wall in there. And that is how the recruitment was done. After his
third grade, he felt that talking to the girls in the class was the most infidel
act one could perform and he stopped doing it.
Not for long, the rough desert
saw its rain. With the breezy monsoon winds and drizzling rain, he saw the pony
tailed girl standing in the doorstep of the classroom. He never thought colors
would make so much sense until he saw the beads and ribbons that were holding her
hair. It is said brain can transfer 20 million billion calculations per second in
its full capacity but it was the first time when it was happening to him. He
was wondering how even a white Monday usual uniform would look so good. After
looking at her, for reassurance he checked himself, the hair and shoes showed the
wannabe untidy and collars and sleeves showed the wannabe rowdy. He adjusted
his shirt collars, his sleeves and his hair. After looking at his stunts, the
guy sitting next to him frowned at his unusual behavior. All he could do was, give
an embarrassing smile with a shrug.
Days slowly passed, but all he
was doing was staring at her. You never know, in which avatar fortune might
glee on you. It was a usual day and it was the lunch break, the “Catch &
catch” game was on with the arch rivals. The usual fight over the score went on
to become a full-fledged war during the break. At the tipping point, his fist
kissed one of his classmates face and the end result was crying with blood dripping
from lips. Never has this fight been moderated by class teachers, but this
time, the issue got escalated though it was against the guidelines of grade five
gang-wars. The class teacher came to a conclusion that the bad behavior of
students in her class is because of the seating position and therefore she
decided to revamp the whole arrangement. From the next day, every guy was made
to sit next to a girl and the faculty decided had the take on position. And to his surprise, he was made to sit next
to the gleaming beauty. I guess that is why they say, the whole world conspires
for you when you want something.
Never did the teacher expect such
a turnaround in discipline in such a short time frame. When she felt the whole
class has improved by 80%, she saw 250% improvement in him. To the teacher’s
surprise, his scores topped the class, he was punctual and to add more, he came
early to class to clean the board!
His friends realized that there
has been a slow disassociation in their friendship and he was more into her. There
were no lunch time games, no fights and no disciplinary actions in the class. He
walked in with her to class and walked out with her. The skills acquired over
the time to make fun of others became his charm to make her laugh. He held her
hands in the classroom, when she asked ‘why’, he said, “I’m afraid of light!”.
Lunch break was with her, he started playing volley ball with the girls,
intentionally lost notebooks just to use her notebooks. Back at home, he danced
for the love tunes of Kadhalar Dhinam
and DDLJ, he felt as if these
romantic songs were just made for him. He
called her up all the evenings in his landline when his mom was out for temple.
When her parents picked up the phone, it ended as a blank call and when she
picks it up, it went on forever.
Even the dreams wouldn’t have
been this better but his life was. There is an old tricky saying, this too
shall pass. His love did not pass away but the love filled moments were put in
danger. The news that his dad got transferred struck his ears when his parents
were having a conversation. His dad was excited of the new city and the job description;
he tried his best to be happy for his dad but still the tears for the love were
floating in his eyes. He didn’t ask for the moments with her, he didn’t pray
for the love but when he thought he had everything, someone suddenly snatched the
whole paradise he had built with dreams. Tears wet the pillow covers. He wanted
to share his pain, agony and the dreams that were put on fire but to whom? He
lost his friends and he couldn’t open up to his parents. The unsaid words
started eating his mind. He wanted a way to vent out his feeling and the passion
for love. And that is the moment when he decided that he will propose to her on
the last day of the year.
When there is true love, a man discovers
himself in some form. And that is how James Blunt, Elliot Smith and many others
came into real existence. They found their music and lyrics in the love they
had and dreams they saw. The walk he had with her were the lanes he took on the
city of love and they started taking shapes as a poems. He was 10 and he was
all set for proposing her with a poem. Though he was not sure of what would
happen even after she accepts his love. But he was completely for it. The day came;
His heart was pushing more blood than it should be and the palms that were
holding the paper with words was sweating too. After the exam, he was waiting in
front of the exam hall to give away the paper to her. He was waiting. He was
waiting. But she didn’t turn up. Even the evening wind started embracing the dusty
lands but he was standing all alone in the playground waiting for her.
He called her up during the
evening to hear no response. For the next few days it was the same, no one knew
what happened to the bird that was flying around in his life. The day came when
he had to move out of the city to a new alien land. Less he realized that, more
than the heart which he lost over the year, he had also lost the boisterous fighting
survivor in himself for the one.
Time flew, seasons changed, old
trees died, new ones bloomed and he grew up to become old. She might have
become a vague memory but the feeling that she isn’t there pinched him sometime.
He may now be suited and booted but the fact that he did not open up to her
comes to his mind whenever he saw a kid.
Then he didn’t realize, love
meant getting hurt either ways. Though it hurts, it is worth taking the hits. Life
attains greater meaning when it closely works with love. It should start drive your day; every second
in the clock should revolve around that. You don’t need a huge structure to
showcase your love; all that is required is opening up your heart to the one. Every
animal in the world does almost everything to woo its love, but only we humans,
because of the six senses miss doing it, for we think little too much. Make her
feel special, for she is special in your life. Give her the attention, for she
makes your life complete which otherwise isn’t. If she wants you to breakdown
the whole stretch of Himalayas to be with you then break it down because it is
worth spending your life trying to move the mountains for her. For all matters
is being with her!
-With love,
Alagiri
